Today is my last day working Support, which is a mandatory month for all new employees at my new work. It's been an awesome way to both ease into a new environment but also the best way to learn the product and customers. It's also a job I'm not built for. I can answer support e-mails 'til the cows come home. But the phone holds a lot of anxiety for me.

Sometimes, I think about what I do for a living as a sort of arbitrary kind of happenstance. I didn't have such things as five year plans. I didn't map out my career milestones. But a month doing a job I'm so clearly not built for has made me feel it's not so arbitrary. There may not have been top-down planning, but that doesn't mean it's not right. And I'm looking forward now to getting back to doing those things I can confidently do, those things that even when the give me The Fear, it's a sort of exciting fear, not a head-in-the-sand fear.

My weekend, as all weekends have recently become, will be focused on training Beau. It's hilarious and interesting to see the struggle between what he's learning and what all his puppy instincts tell him to do. The struggle is so visible and the little operatic turmoils it creates in him are both hilarious and striking. I think about all the ways I bend his will to my own and try to be loving in it. But I know he bends me too and our meeting in the middle only reinforces the crazy connection I feel with this wee beastie.

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