Yesterday, Beau and I clicked. It took 6 days. It wasn't that we weren't getting along until that. Beau was in love with me from the beginning. But his love was too yearning and I was overwhelmed by all he needed from me, constantly, how there seemed to be no "enough" for him.
But yesterday he started finally to believe in me, to believe I would come back, to believe he could relax, to believe he could turn his back to me and fall into a deep sleep. And the minute he started trusting me and his new home, I felt this swell of love for him. He started to do funny things, tumbling over and then sitting up all chuffed as if to say ta-da! I stuck the landing! Or, somehow winding up with my bra on his head, tailing wagging furiously.
And with his confidence my own has grown. All week, every day, I've resolved to be a good dog momma, through gritted teeth and exhausted near-tears. But yesterday as he was tearing around the garden carrying a huge stick for no known reason, I finally believed it. I know we'll go two steps forward, one back like this for a while yet and that there's lots of slog ahead, but I'm just so happy to be starting 2016 with this wee fella in my life.
Some links for your weekend perusal:
- I read Winter Pages over the holidays and loved it
- And more Kevin Barry: "I’ve been coming to Carrowkeel, up the long, twisting road by the donkey sanctuary, for the past eight years now. I had decided to live beautifully, without fear or anxiety, and it seemed like the proper place for a ritual re-engagement with the world and its natural things."
- I've probably written before that as a single woman it often feels nobody is really talking to you, from politics to employers, so obviously I concur with this: "policy-makers need to reject policies that take into consideration an individual's marital status, because such policies are discriminatory."
- Would love to go see this
- This blew my little mind