I feel like I'm barely here these days and I miss it. It's been a reminder of just how much I like to play here, to noodle words and collect lovely things, to share ideas and melancholy notions, poems and schemes.
It's not only that I don't have the energy or time right now, it's also that I don't quite have a sense of myself outside of all the work to be done. Like the muscle memory of just being me has been forgotten. I know it will come back... I'm in the final leg of this project now. And I know this is a lot about me clinging too tight, as I do to things that I care about against all reason. But it will be done soon and I'll find my way back to normal.
I read this over on Toast Travels last week. Evie Wyld was a new-to-me discovery only a month ago and now I strain for every new thing she writes. And did I already share this video of Kevin Barry? I've watched it a few times now. Classic. Oh! And this gorgeous piece made me cry at my desk last weekend.
The flowers I arranged on Sunday evening were the happiest thing to come home to each night this week. I mostly missed their slow fading but at the same time, they were the only thing measuring the march of my days.
I'm happy for Friday. Wishing you a lovely weekend!