Sometimes, it takes me a while to get around to expressing things on my blog. I tend to mull, to stew, to macerate. So when ideas and feelings manifest, they're usually not bursts of expression, rather fully formed thoughts. In some ways, then, my blog is an escape from what's really going on in my head. Sometimes when it's light and frivolous, I'm in the depths of some thought or feeling I'm not yet ready to express.
And when I give expression to those deeper thoughts and feelings it often marks an emergence from my mood. I'm casting off the dregs of dark or complicated thoughts and giving utterance to things that I couldn't give utterance to when I'm feeling them too much.
In art, it's called the Intentional Fallacy; this idea that output represents how a creator is feeling as she writes or paints or that one must understand the artist's life to understand their work. People often infer I'm depressed when I'm not or think I'm rock steady when I'm at a tipping point. I don't always think the Intentional Fallacy is fallacious. But it can be amusing, this misunderstanding. There's a queer Beckettan absurdity to it.
But here we are on Friday and I can in all honesty tell you that as I write, after a topsy-turvy week, I feel pensive but happy. I got some good news this week. It will take a little while for the elements to drop into place, for me to figure out exactly what it all is. But things look promising and, after a recent disappointment, it's nice that a completely different and unexpected door has opened.
My weekend plans are pretty bare. I've got some work to still do on my kitchen, some photographs to make for a nice little project. I hope to get to the farmer's market for fresh eggs and to do some good reading too. My desire for a holiday only grew this week, so maybe I'll start to wrap some concrete thoughts around that too. Fall in California? Summer in PEI? Delectable options...
Have a good weekend, friends!