Some not great news on Friday cast a mean shadow over my weekend.
And sometimes, almost perversely, I give into the blues in the easiest way. I listen to music that promotes nothing but melancholy. I reach for poetry that tugs at all those loose threads in my brain, all those easy insecurities. I think, in that way, I try to drain it out of myself fully.
So today, I'll wake up tired but feeling better. Cried out, even if I didn't really cry. And something about that kind of exhaustion creates a fog around my brain. It hangs over me, this air of unreality and detachment. So that even when I go out today I'll feel strange and disconnected. And the world will seem surreal and I'll feel like a skulker in a place I don't belong.
But it will start to lift. A cup of coffee will chase some of it away. The simple highs of the day will seep in. And though, at the start, I'll damn the feeling a little, I'll begin to lift up my eyes. I'll start to feel myself move out of my head, from the space behind my eyes and down into my chest and even legs and fingers again.
It's important to own these days, to belong in them, to know they're all part of it. And to let them pass too.
Products: 3.1 Phillip Lim Initials Classic Bralette from La Garconne | Les Prairies de Paris Chuck Cableknit Sweater from La Garconne | J Brand 231 jeans from Net-a-Porter | The Art of Cruelty by Maggie Nelson | Boot #1 from Deux Souliers | Leaf ring from Odette | Shoulder bag from A.P.C.