These days are sublime. The weather is gorgeous, cold and sunny, my favourite combination.
I'm in a good mood, happy even. Which is strange given the difficulty of some days, many moments of utter frustration. But when I get home every night I feel shrouded in calm. I reach for books I haven't read in years and do little chores, gluing that vase I broke or writing out a recipe card with mammy's brown bread recipe. And, despite many plain reasons not to be, I'm optimistic.
I feel affectionate about the things I own, the place I live. I want to dig into that and share it instead of chasing after some new shiny thing. When I recently tidied and rearranged, I really looked at things and I saw so much that tells a wonderful story. The painting I bought in Moscow on my first real adventure. It's moved everywhere with me. And I love it way beyond it being a good painting, it's almost certainly not, but I can't tell anymore.
And certain books, their spines so worn you can't read the titles. But there were others I left behind during various moves. Transatlantic relocation challenges every last possession and there were times when I had to make hard choices. But I let myself replace them this week, carefully picking out the best translations, the more beautiful edition. It feels like a lovely thing to step back into those purchases, familiar titles, compounding feelings, to have a brand new Crime & Punishment land on my desk this week.
Even Friday. I came home and watered my plants and decided to seize the one ripe lemon on my Meyer lemon tree. I twisted it off, a little spray of citrus oil releasing as I did, and put it on the counter, just leaving it there, like a little trophy. And I walked around, doing other things, circling back, checking on it. Until I took up my knife and, rolling it first beneath my palm, sliced into it. I don't know what I was expecting, but I was shocked to find it a real lemon on the inside. It was the best lemon drop I ever made.
And today, all it took was a cup of coffee in my hand, new books in my bag and a dog singling me out for some unknowable dog reason and his entire torso breaking into a giant wag. I just started to smile at the sight of him doing the twist like that and his owner too, realizing he was going to barrel into me and push his nose into my hand, leash be damned. We laughed and I happily surrendered to this sudden, dogged attention. Because it's nice to be instantly and unconditionally loved, even if it's a mystery why.
Products:Baudelaire by Byredo from Barneys | 3.1 Phillip Lim Silk T-Shirt Dress from La Garconne | Duffy Hooded cardigan from Net-a-Porter | Raindrop beret in soft grey from Coterie | Livingstone boot from Ecco | Feather pendant from Linda Penwarden | Rachel Comey Secret Handle Handbag from Totokaelo | Antique books from 1st Dibs