Over a week ago, I couldn't find my favourite ring. It's a ring I wear almost every day — my Claddagh. And I've always had mixed feelings about it. I don't wear it because of some Irish thing (those connotations always embarrassed me). Rather, I wore it because of by whom and why I was given it.
It's a strange story maybe. Not the greatest love story of my adult life. But one of those love stories where I can say with complete confidence that I was loved by somebody who knew me well, perhaps better than anybody else who loved me ever knew me. And he gave me the ring, many years ago. And I never stopped loving it for how it made me feel.
And now it's gone. I'm even reluctant to write that because I really hope it shows up and I'm in an utter state of confusion about how it came to be lost. But I've hunted crazily and I've been calm, hoping it would manifest casually. And it hasn't appeared. It feels like the end of an era.
I can't say I care much about getting rings from boys any more. But it makes me sad that I lost the only one I ever did get. And that's what is irreplaceable. Because I think I would have kept wearing it to my dying day otherwise.
And sometimes Sundays are days for just taking stock and letting yourself feel these things that you don't have time to get upset about on weekdays. Today, I'm taking a true Sunday, a day of rest. Daylight savings will knock me for six all this week and I really should not go into the week tired. And it's St. Patrick's Day too and that's always something I have to wince my way through too.
Sometimes, I wish I could just be cool about these things. That I could be one of those comme ci, comme ça types who breezes their way through daily annoyances. I take it all to heart, the drunken Irish jokes, the green-washing of a culture I sometimes reject but ultimately love, the disneyfication of my home.
But at least, there's today. A day to curl up with books and magazines, in comfortable clothes and maybe watching something on television that makes me cry. A good cry will do me good.
Products: Undecorate: The No-Rules Approach to Interior Design by Christiane Lemieux / Blouse from American Vintage / Smooth Tactel Underwire Bra from Bodas / Boy Jean from Toast / English Pear & Freesia Home Candle from Jo Malone / Small teapot from Heath Ceramics / House & Garden / House & Home / Florilegium small cushion from Chelsea Textiles / Natural Canvas Women's Classics from Toms