What a week! A lot of the angst I was feeling was suddenly and unexpectedly lifted (yes, I know, a rare job-mentioning moment). But, what a relief! I'm trying to let myself bask in it a bit. It's been a long six months.
Of course, my angst runs deeper than the external things around me. I'm really only starting to understand that: How little it has to do with concrete things. How self-contained and self-perpetuating it is. Some days that's a really upsetting realization and I wonder what I can realistically expect to change. And other days it gives me hope, that it's easier to cordon it off and fix it if it's self-contained within me. It's a toss up what I feel about it moment-to-moment, day-to-day.
One of the rare constants in my life is how I feel when confronted with beauty. Schopenhauer thought that the aesthetic experience was the negation of Will, a moment when we transcend our own needs and desires and lose ourselves in the object of our perception. This has always resonated with me and feels like why I like to wallow in art and literature and gobble up the beauty of blogs.
There was lots of that this week: These classic portraits haunted me. And this space evoked feelings that transcend mere decoration. Shy Rabbit Farm gave me the same feeling. You know, sometimes my own home gives me that feeling too. Those moments are pretty special. And speaking of special moments, this backyard garden party is one I want to put in a bottle and keep on a shelf for a rainy day.
I have some lily of the valley on my desk now and there's something about the fragrance of it combined with the rain outside that seems to create a beautiful harmony. I don't have many thoughts about the weekend. I feel that need to tidy and create beautiful moments all around me, to watch old movies and maybe some more documentaries (thank you for your recommendations, I plan to check them all out!) and to walk and stretch and sleep.
What are you up to? Wishing you a weekend full of beauty!
Image credits: 1. bestbestbest, 2. Untitled, 3. Untitled, 4. iPhone 31/365