I'm wrapping up the week a day early, since tomorrow is a holiday. Writing yesterday's post was emotionally exhausting, though it felt like a beginning in other ways. I want to take some time to carefully read and respond to all your comments and e-mails. They were coming in as I was working yesterday and it tested every bit of my self-control to check my emotions as I read them. So, I need to go back and reread everything and process it. I know there is a lot of beautiful support and wisdom in those comments. And I especially want to thank those of you who shared something in your comments that you have not shared before on the blogosphere.
I think one of the reasons this is a difficult thing for people to express, is because of the reactions they get. I think part of the challenge here is semantics. We sloppily use the word "depression" to refer to anything from a bad mood, PMS, grief, anxiety, clinical depression and on... But of course, these are all very different states of being and require different handling, help and advice. I don't know where I am on that spectrum, but I know I'm past the "snap out of it funk". Believe me, in order for me to write what I did yesterday, I had to be feeling this way for a very long time.
I had a feeling that writing yesterday's post would somehow help, though I didn't rationally think anything anybody said could change anything. But my feeling was right. It somehow changed everything. Just saying something honest and scary out loud has an amazing power and elicits amazing reactions. You've helped me more than I can say.
Image credits: 1. untitled 2. ocean blvd. 3. untitled 4. untitled