I'm so happy it's Friday. I've been feeling the busy-ness of life this week. The intensity of a new job coupled with the intensity of a puppy makes me feel like the week days and nights just evaporate. But life is lovely too and my sleep is content and I wake up happy.

Beau gets the last of his shots this weekend and I'll be working on his leash-training (so hard!) this weekend. Other than that, I'm excited to spring clean and just catch up on the things I feel zip by during the week.

Thar be links!
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Life lately

The new neighbourhood I work in is just a quiet streetcar and a stroll away from my apartment, but it feels every day as if I’m travelling to a different city — Toronto being, as it’s called, a city of neighbourhoods.

And each neighbourhood is so different that you look at it with fresh eyes, surveying things the way you might a place you’ve never been. I find myself thinking of The Junction in the context not of my own neighbourhood but of other cities I’ve lived in. The main strip reminds me a lot of Inglewood or Kensington in Calgary. Some of the residential streets remind me of Marino or Fairview in Dublin.

I’m struck by how much I see things now through that lens of my own past. And how the past can suddenly seem more present just because of a certain type of building fa├žade, or a certain height and spacing between homes. It’s remarkable to me that I can be in the same city and find myself time and space travelling in this way, with prismatic impressions of past lives surfacing in unexpected ways.

And I love this. New streets: they hold a certain sort of magic all of their own, don’t they?

In this way and in others, I’ve been thinking about how comfortable we become with a certain kind of confined life. How it surprises us to learn there are alternatives, there’s a wider world, there’s stuff we might want beyond the boundaries we set ourselves. I’ve been thinking too about how we think we know ourselves but we only know ourselves within the world as we’ve defined it, within the boundaries of a certain paradigm.

But self-knowing within a paradigm is not the same as self-knowledge in a real way. It’s just a version of yourself, and it keeps things confined and narrowly decipherable. We strain for this because it gives us a sense of stability, of security and confidence. We delude ourselves into thinking we know things about ourselves. But rip that paradigm away and suddenly many of those things no longer apply.

And perhaps this is why one change can cascade so quickly. The divorce leads to a career change which leads to moving cities. The weightloss leads to a revolution of style and identity and lifestyle. We don't start out intending to change so much. In fact, we cling tightly to our current idea of self.

But when you start to see small cracks in the paradigm you occupy, suddenly everything is up for grabs. And then you can start to startle yourself in extraordinary ways. Whole transformations can happen.

I am always terrified of this process and yet I find myself most interesting when I'm in it. And even if it’s just the small change of a new job and a new work neighbourhood, I feel it ripples through my life: Everything comes into focus a little differently. And it’s intriguing to feel myself out in all of that.

Decor mood

Beau's arrival marked a new kind of patience in my days. Not only patience pertaining to doggy affairs (standing around at twilight waiting for pup to pee), but life more generally. Decorating, which sometimes consumed me in almost frantic impatience now takes a back seat to the reality of living with a pup. And my thoughts are of the slow simmer variety. Lately, I find myself leaning towards a softer palette, which I suppose isn't really a new thing since it's readily visible in my space already. But I guess I never "owned" it and I suppose it was this recent post that really inspired me to consider the baby blue sofa. Here's the current daydream...

P.S. If anybody (not a blogger who got a free sofa to blog about it) has tried Bryght, I'd love to know what you think. The prices are incredible and a sofa is really on my wishlist for this year.

Products: Quilt | Bookcase | Sofa | Rug | Coffee Table | Armchair | Candlestick | Painting | Ottomans | Cushions

Sunday best: Feeling blue

...literally, not figuratively. I'm not blue at all. But spring is (strangely, likely temporarily) in the air and I'm feeling all these relaxed and beachy vibes.

I was up at 5am walking Beau and the moon was a perfect last quarter moon, low and shrouded in mist. Much as I grumble about the early morning walks, there's something so beautiful about this solitude. Seeing the city in those secret moments.

I went to sleep with the name Anna Wetherell on my lips, reading The Luminaries. I'll likely finish it today or tomorrow and then I'll be tweeting about how sad I am. It's a book I'll read again an again, I think. Up there with Middlemarch and the handful of other books that I form a connection so personal with I feel like it's wholly, selfishly mine.

And I think I would love to read it again when I'm close to the sea, perhaps even in New Zealand, which is one of my dream trips...

Products: Mini MILCK clutch from ELA | Mary shirt dress from Frank & Eileen | Large four-step ring from WWAKE | Rag & Bone capri jeans from Net-a-Porter | Sel Marin from James Heeley | Golden Goose Sneakers from SSense